Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Speaking of asparagus

The other day we had broccoli for dinner (it was a side dish, Ma, not the main thing). That night Joel commented to me how his tinkle smelled of broccoli. I went to the bathroom later and yup, broccoli. The next morning when Lucy sat on the potty: broccoli. Then all the next day... broccoli!

Yikes! Joel thought we must all be very dehydrated, if it was still in our systems like that. About three days later (all still broccoli-laden), I remembered that I'd purchased a new plastic bath mat (so the kids don't slip in the tub and crack their skulls open). The bath mat has a real plasticky smell, which is not unlike... broccoli tinkle.

So now my bathroom has the constant reek of broccoli tinkle (this is on top of the odor of my scented shower gel that smells just like the Great Ape House at the Lincoln Park Zoo).

Yum.

But at least all our skulls are intact.

10 comments:

Ellie said...

Well it's about time. I've been trying to sign in all week and comment, but my computer has been crazy!
First I would like some clarification. Did the bathmats always smell like broccoli or did the urine sink into the new bathmats in the same fashion as Jerry Seinfeld's stinky car? Have you tried washing the bathmats with tomato sauce?

Okay back to the book.
I was equally disgusted by the Americus/America (I finished the book a while a ago, give me some slack) situation. ALTHOUGH I feel like old dirty men were more accepted back in the day and in third world countries. Wait, would you consider this third world?

Before I started the book, having only read the book jacket (Sidenote: did you know Steve Martin only wrote books because he enjoyed writing the book jacket synopsis?) I was all set to cheer to Florentino. As I got into the book, I kinda sorta dispised him (Another sidenote: I do not know how to spell so please don't hold it against me).
How the heck is what he felt considered love? He didn't even know her. EVER! Give me a friggin break. I mean, I feel that way about Louie Anderson but have you seen the man? A golden god! Anyway, just because the smell of someones hair reminds you of a flower doesn't equal love Florentino. Now if he said the smell of her urine reminded him of broccali I may revoke my statement.

Mamacita said...

Oh, man this blog stuff is killing me. It is way too difficult for me to respond. If this doesn't go through, I quit. By the way, who is Louie Anderson? I am really out of it.

Unknown said...

Wait, El, did you mean Louie ARMSTRONG? Please, please, please say you did. Or I, as Lord High Executioner of this Book Club, might have to start invoking my powers.

I've been done with the book for a week, and I still haven't been able to resolve my feelings about Florentino. I think I really can't stand him but I have a hard time feeling that way about a protagonist.

Unknown said...

OH! And MOM!! WELCOME!!! I'm so excited you've joined us! It is so much more fun with everyone. Or, it will be... I imagine... I hope...

...er...

Jean said...

Ok, Ellen. Are you saying that you love Louie Anderson even though you don't know him? Or do you despise him because he smells like urine? Maybe I just need to read the book.
Mom- don't despair! You have responded successfully on all blogs. Well done!

Unknown said...

Jean, you're right, and the "golden god" thing didn't really clear it up for me at all.

Did my "broccoli urine, in my opinion, does not exist" comment get eaten by blogger? Bastards!

Mamacita said...

Dad woke up at 3am in the middle of a dream where his urine smelled of cilantro. No joke!

Jean said...

Cilantro? Nice!
I was dreaming of exploding ostomy bags, with stool going every-which-way. Oh no, wait. That was real life.
I think we all should have our pictures on here. I don't know how to do it, though. Meg? Ellen?

Jean said...

OH MY GOD! I clicked on Ellen's picture and a picture of Louie Anderson took over my entire computer screen!
AAAAAAAGGGGHGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unknown said...

You hafta change your "blogger profile" and add a picture. Then it will show up when you comment.